Sibling Rivalry

Now that I have your attention let's talk about it. What do you think when I say sibling rivalry? If you have more than one child I bet you are currently thinking it's 5 o'clock somewhere right?! My 2 oldest only see each other a total of 5 days a month if you count all the hours they are awake for Jaden's wednesday night sleepovers. I repeat only 5 Days a month. After hour 1 on any given day of Jaden's return my home becomes a battlefield. I can always tell when I'm about to be pulled into it because the child who is wronged will respond to the other with a louder than normal voice in hopes that I will jump in and right the wrongs and bring them justice. Well, this month is our month to have both of our kids all month long. I repeat again for dramatic purposes "ALL MONTH LONG"! They have found anything and everything to fight over. They are even fighting over the baby at this point. Once Christian starts talking I know he will join in on the fun of driving Mommy up the wall.

It never ceases to amaze me how Alexis can go to a neighbors house and play nicely and lovingly with other young children who are her brothers age but the moment he gets near her it's game on (and I don't mean monopoly). So, here I am an only child who was raised by my mom sitting in the mist of a family of 5. I think I have spent the last 5 years in culture shock grasping blindly through this strange land not knowing what to do or where to turn. I have always thought what the HELL is wrong with my kids??? Why can't they just get along? Why can't they share nicely? No tattletaling! Is this my punishment for being a tattle tale myself? Oh Mommy needs a glass of wine.

I have gone through Choices. I have gone back to coach. I have a certificate that says I completed the course. I can communicate with my husband now. I can communicate indiviually with my kids. I teach my kids the tools I learned and still they squabble and one up each other. A few days ago Chad and I were talking and had come to the decision we have got to step out of the middle of our children's relationship. Unless there is blood or a broken bone we have got to quit meddling and allowing them to pull us in. But low and behold they always find a way to pull us back in.

So here I am in the mist of craziness ready to pull my hair out when low and behold I found the book. Not just any book. This is the book of all books. It's called Siblings without Rivalry -How to help your Children live Together so you can Live too.

While at B&N yesterday I find this book and toss it in the stroller (the baby was in my arms I swear) along with 6-10 other books and head over to a chair so I can browse through and see if any of this is good. Through my browsing of a raising girls book I learned that Alexis's brain just went through a 2 year growth spurt equal to the growth it did from 6 months to a year old o.O! Wow, if I had only had that information 2 years ago that would have been great thanks. I may go back for that book later because it did have more information about the next 6 years I will need to make sure I let her survive her teen years with guidance instead of over bearing over parenting.

Then after Chad takes a fussy Christian out of my hearing range I get a chance to look at the book of the most interest to me Siblings without Rivalry. As I browse through this book I come to the conclusion that this woman has followed my children and I around and wrote a book that should be titled -How not to end up like The Meyer household. I was like OH MY GOSH!!!

This book is awesome. I have yet to read all of it but I have skimmed it like crazy and a lot of the unhelpful responses you can give your kids I do automatically. Apparently by even saying So, what do you want me to do about it? Or anything along those lines is causing more stress on their relationship. Have you ever said "can't you guys just get along", or "I don't care who started it, I want it ended" or "Your too old for these toys. Give them to your brother or sister." Then you need this book! I will update you to let you know how I do with my new learning tool.